Where the heart is...

The Dignity of Human Life

2012-01-20T07:44:00.000-08:00

A response from Independent Candidate, Robby Wells

2012-01-18T08:20:00.000-08:00

from	Robby Carr Wells coachrobby1@hotmail.com
to		Julie Kimani
date		Mon, Jan 16, 2012 at 6:39 PM
subject		Re: Inquiry
mailed-by		hotmail.com

Hello Julie,

Thank you for your e mail. There are several places you can go to see my platform. My website is www.electrobbywells.com. Once you are there, click on the Gameplan. This is my platform. I am a former college football coach, which is why my platform is called The Gameplan. You can also click on my name for a full bio.
There is another site at www.selectsmart.com. You can view my stance on all sorts of issues there.
Also, check out my facebook, twitter, and youtube links on my website.
Thanks!

Robby Wells

from	Julie Kimani juliekimani@gmail.com
to		Robby Carr Wells
date		Tue, Jan 17, 2012 at 8:59 AM
subject		Re: Inquiry
mailed-by		gmail.com

Hi Mr. Wells,

To be honest, I was hoping for a little more detail from you. A lot of the issues that I am concerned about are very hard to find information on. Especially euthanasia, the death penalty, that sort of thing. If you don't mind writing me back with some details on your positions or even direct links to pages with that specific information on it, I would really appreciate it. Here is an example of some of the feedback I've received so far, which I've published on my blog.

http://isaiah1169.blogspot.com/2012/01/reform-party.html?spref=tw

http://isaiah1169.blogspot.com/2012/01/tiffany-briscoe-and-boston-tea-party.html?spref=tw

Thank you for your time Mr. Wells.

Sincerely, Julie Kimani

Response from and to the Party for Socialism and Liberation

2012-01-18T08:03:00.000-08:00

On Tue, Jan 17, 2012 at 6:56 PM, <info@pslweb.org> wrote:

Dear Julie:

Could you explain how these issues are deal breakers? I would be happy to explain ourviews, but also see that they are on our site http://www.votepsl.org

Thanks,

John Daly

from	Julie Kimani juliekimani@gmail.com
to		info@pslweb.org
date		Wed, Jan 18, 2012 at 8:02 AM
subject		Re: Inquiry
mailed-by		gmail.com

Hi John,

I'd be happy to. I hold to a consistent life ethic. For more on information on this you can check out this site: http://consistent-life.org/ . I am a follower of Christ Jesus and as such believe that all human life from conception to natural death is valuable. Abortion is the MOST important issue to me because I feel like there are millions of human lives that have been denied a voice due to Roe v. Wade. The Death Penalty is also important to me because I feel that every human should be given every opportunity to be redeemed, no matter how horrendous their crimes. It should be God's decision to decide to end a life, not ours. Euthanasia, I struggle with a little because I hate to see anyone in pain. But again I feel that every moment of life is valuable. As far as poverty is concerned, I've experienced poverty first hand and know *some* of the struggles that these people experience. I've learned that there is more poverty in the US than in any other industrialized nation. I strongly feel that this is also a class of people that have been left with out a voice as US politics focuses mainly on the middle class. I don't know what the solution is, but I know more can be done about it than is being done now. While I did list other issues, these are the ones I look at for a candidate the most deeply. By the way, I deeply admire Ms. Briscoe's position on the death penalty. It has been difficult for me to find a candidate that holds that position.

Sincerely, Julie Kimani

from	Julie Kimani juliekimani@gmail.com
to		info@pslweb.org
date		Wed, Jan 18, 2012 at 8:13 AM
subject		Re: Inquiry
mailed-by		gmail.com

Please forgive my reference to Ms. Briscoe. Your email was delivered to me in the same thread as the response from her campaign and I responded thinking this was from their campaign. A little pregnancy brain at work I'm afraid! John, I've looked at your website and I'm having trouble finding many of these issues directly addressed. So if you could provide me at least with direct links, I would very much appreciate it.

Thank you, Julie Kimani

Tiffany Briscoe and the Boston Tea Party

2012-01-17T08:38:00.000-08:00

from	Tiffany Briscoe tbriscoe2012@gmail.com
to		Julie Kimani
date		Mon, Jan 16, 2012 at 5:01 PM
subject		Re: Inquiry
mailed-by		gmail.com

Dear Ms. Kimani,

I would like to first direct you to our campaign website, http://tiffanybriscoe2012.weebly.com/ which details Ms. Briscoe's positions on most of these issues. Now, we welcome your call for a third party in American politics, as we also believe one is necessary for the future of our nation.

When it comes to these specific issues, here are a few details of Tiffany Briscoe's positions and platform:

Abortion. Ms. Briscoe believes the federal government has no business whatsoever in promoting or prohibiting abortion. It is not a constitutionally enumerated power for the central government, and thus wants to end all federal funding of abortion-supporting clinics and organizations. What state and local governments decide to be as their law when it comes to abortion should be respected by Washington.
Death Penalty. Tiffany Briscoe is vehemently opposed to the use of the death penalty as a punishment by the government. Capital punishment is wrong as it allows the government to kill people despite the Eighth Amendment of the Bill of Rights. She thus wants to abolish the death penalty on a federal level, even when used by military courts. But she would not interfere with states setting up their own laws on the subject.
Euthanasia. Tiffany Briscoe believes this is an individual choice argument and thinks it should not be illegal on a federal level, as long as the patient requested such a treatment. But there again, it has not been a federal issue in the past and should not become one.
Poverty. Poverty has been a problem throughout history in virtually all societies. The difference we have noticed in the past few centuries is that the rise of capitalism and entrepreneurship with respect of private property has significantly decreased the poverty rate in the free world and raised the standards of living for the remaining poor. Poverty is not a problem that can be dealt with by redistributing wealth, but rather by allowing free markets and competition to lower prices to everyone and innovate at a faster pace. Ideally, the only thing the federal government should do is end all roadblocks for poor individuals to rise in society and this should be done by ending the war on drugs, minimum wage laws, and allowing an unregulated marketplace to prosper.
Faith-Based Initiatives. Because of the several restrictions put on faith-based initiatives under the Bush presidency, Ms. Briscoe does not see them to be a violation of the separation of Church and State. However, the constitutionality of the matter is still dubious as it provides subsidies to individuals, which is not prescribed in the Constitution. However, faith-based initiatives are a better tool than federal and state bureaucracies who mismanage funds way too often. But the ultimate goal of Ms. Briscoe is to end all welfare on a federal level.
Gun Control. The Constitution being clear on the matter, Ms. Briscoe wants to repeal all federal legislation regulating or prohibiting the carrying of firearms, from the Brady Handgun Violence Prevention Act to the National Firearms Act. Yet, the principle of federalism allows state and local governments to put their own regulations were their constitutions to allow such acts.

Immigration. You may refer to http://tiffanybriscoe2012.weebly.com/immigration.html for more details.

Education. You may refer to http://tiffanybriscoe2012.weebly.com/education.html for more details.

Social Security. Social Security has become an unbearable burden on future generations. Reform is needed as quickly as possible to avoid a possible bankruptcy of the system. But this requires firm conviction and agile handling of the situation. Tiffany Briscoe first wants to raise the eligibility age to 70 for both Medicare and Social Security. She would then end the entitlement of SS and only let those that have earned on average less than $150,000 per year benefit from the program. Third, Ms. Briscoe wants to repeal the 1983 amendments that prohibited state and local governments from opting out of the system, and would also allow all new workers to opt-out of Social Security to invest in private retirement accounts.

More is to be expected in Ms. Briscoe's book, Return to Freedom, which will be published by the end of this month.

P.S. Can you send us the article were you to write it about Tiffany Briscoe on your blog? It would be included on the campaign website.

Thanks again for your interest,

In Liberty,

Briscoe for America

Reform Party

2012-01-16T13:11:00.001-08:00

from	David Collison chairman@harriscountyrp.org
to		Julie Kimani
date		Mon, Jan 16, 2012 at 12:31 PM
subject		Reform Party Response
		Important mainly because of the words in the message.

Julie, thank you for your questions. What state are you residing in?

Regarding the following issues:

-Abortion

-Death Penalty

-Euthanasia

-Government Funded Faith Based Initiatives

The Reform Party generally considers those to be social issues which we do not take a national stance on. Our members range from liberal to conservative on these issues and advocate for or against them outside the party structure. We would expect our candidates to focus on our core issues both during their campaign and once elected, even if that means accepting the current status quo on these issues for 4 years until the core problems facing the country are resolved.

Regarding poverty, we take a pragmatic approach. We support a reasonable minimum wage (unlike the Libertarians and Republicans) but we believe all public assistance programs need to have a way to work your way out of them. In the current jobs climate, we realize this is very difficult and again, unlike the Republicans we tend to accept the fact that in extreme circumstances the government has to carry the load so individual citizens don't suffer.

Also with respect to poverty, we understand that our nation's policies the last 2-3 decades have heavily favored the wealthy at the expense of working Americans and the poor. The number of poor have increased as a result. That needs to be fixed.

With respect to gun control, we do not have a clear consensus on that issue. I think most of our members support the right of individual gun ownership, but many seem to accept what they consider reasonable regulation.

With respect to immigration, we generally support legal immigration and oppose illegal immigration on a purely 'rule of law' and economic basis. This leaves the question of what to do about illegal immigrants who are already living in the US and have been for many years. That is a very difficult problem and requires balancing humanitarian considerations, impacts on communities, and the need foster respect for legal processes. As we saw in the 1980s with the Reagan amnesty, simply doing that alone does not address the long term problem and may actually encourage a subsequent surge in illegal immigration. Likewise, mass deportations is neither practical, nor economically feasible, and would be socially traumatic to entire communities. They key is a balanced approach that addresses current illegal immigrants, makes illegal immigration less desireable, increases border security, and holds companies that hire (and exploit) illegal immigrants accountable.

With respect to education, that tends to be a VERY local issue. Some areas, such as mine, have underfunded schools and underpaid teachers who are doing a good job despite some onerous restrictions on how they teach. Other areas have bloated administrative salaries, excessive benefits costs, underperforming teachers, and do-nothing school boards. In general, we believe that a one-size-fits-all approach will not work, because the funding mechanisms and teaching environment are so different from district to district, county to county, and state to state. We believe that teachers who excel should be rewarded and that a quality education is critical to our nation's future. We also believe that college tuitions are out of control.

Social Security has to be saved as a supplemental retirement for those who can not afford to invest otherwise or who fall on hard times. The only way to do that for current and near-retirees is by increasing taxes to cover the money the government 'borrowed' for so many years. That is the only short term solution and any politician who tells you different is simply lying through his teeth. Longer term, we need to set the expectation that people my age (40) and younger should expect to retire later and receive fewer benefits so we can make social security solvent for those who really need it in future years. We also need to make alternatives more attractive to younger generations so they do not rely on Social Security as their primary retirement income but as a backup.

I hope this answers your questions.

David Collison

Chairman, Reform Party National Committee

2008-2012

The Reform Party

Honest Leadership, Real Solutions

www.reformparty.org

Presidential Race 2012 - Third Parties

2012-01-16T12:15:00.000-08:00

Tiffany Briscoe	Boston Tea Party	http://tiffanybriscoe2012.weebly.com/index.html
Rocky Anderson	Justice Party	https://www.voterocky.org/home
Peta Lindsay	Party of Socialism and Liberation	http://www.pslweb.org/votepsl/2012/candidates/lindsay.html
Stewart Alexander	Socialist Party USA	http://www.stewartalexanderforpresident2012.org/Stewart-s-Bio.html
Roseanne Barr	Independent	http://www.roseanneworld.com/blog/roseanneforprez/
Robert Burck	Independent	http://nc4president.com/
Terry Jones	Independent	http://www.standupamericanow.org/
Joe Schriner	Independent	http://www.voteforjoe.com/
Robby Wells	Independent	http://electrobbywells.com/

TBD.....................	Green Party	http://www.gp.org/
TBD.....................	Libertarian Party	http://www.lp.org/
TBD.....................	Prohibition Party	http://www.prohibitionparty.org/
TBD.....................	Reform Party	http://reformparty.org/

Presidential Race 2012 - Asking for answers

2012-01-16T12:08:00.000-08:00

from	Julie Kimani
to		"Tiffany Briscoe, Boston Tea Party" tbriscoe2012@gmail.com, "Rocky Anderson, Justice Party" data.justice@gmail.com, "Peta Lindsay, Party of Socialism and Liberation" info@pslweb.org, "Stewart Alexander, Socialist Party USA" media@stewartalexanderforpresident2012.org, "Robby Wells, Independent" info@electrobbywells.com, "Green Party" office@gp.org, "Libertarian Party" info@lp.org, "Prohibition Party" tdavis@prohibitionparty.org, "Reform Party" info@rpusa.info
date		Mon, Jan 16, 2012 at 12:07 PM
subject		Inquiry
mailed-by		gmail.com

Dear Presidential Candidate:

I am fed up with the Republican and Democratic political parties (especially since neither of them come close to representing what is important to me). I fully intend to vote third party this coming election. I am doing my research now, but am having some trouble finding your position on some or all of the following issues. If you would be so kind as to respond with your general positions and/or solutions for these issues. Of course the more information you can provide, the better. Please feel free to include links to a web page if this issue has already been addressed on your site.

Abortion
Death Penalty
Euthanasia
Poverty
Government Funded Faith Based Initiatives
Gun Control
Immigration
Education
Social Security

While there are certainly other issues that are of concern to me, these are my "deal-breakers" in the order of most importance.

Please note: I am also including in this email several political parties which have not yet chosen a candidate.

Also: I will be publishing this email in my blog to share with those who know me as well as all responses I receive.

Thank you in advance for your thoughtful responses.

Sincerely, Julie Kimani

Guess what?

2011-12-02T14:09:00.000-08:00

So I have a "little" announcement to make. And since this might be the last time I get to make this particular announcement, I want to work in all that creative stuff that I've seen around. Scroll down and if you haven't figured it out by the time you get to the bottom, I'll state it plainly.

Got it? Just in case you're my brother or my dad and have no idea what the phrase "a bun in the oven" means, WE'RE PREGNANT!! By the way, I blame Mwende for this one. She's been praying for a baby brother every day and night (sometimes several times a day) for the last two months. I know how much God cares for children, so I'm assuming that this is His response to her prayers.

***Disclaimer, the following information may not be appropriate for men or squeamish women. Continue reading at your own risk.

No we weren't trying. It was definitely a surprise. Patrick did finally agree to trying for a third baby though. Whether that happened before or after the little guy was conceived, I really can't tell you. But we didn't find out until I was 8 weeks along. Since its not unusual for me to skip a cycle, I didn't even notice when that time of month had come and gone. No biggie. Even when I started getting sick to my stomach every day, I didn't really think anything of it since the girls were sick with fevers at the same time. It wasn't until I had to start getting up five times a night to pee and then one day suddenly HAD to have a freshly cooked hard boiled egg that I started to suspect. And I was still shocked when that second line appeared on the pregnancy test. I screamed if I recall correctly. I had my first prenatal appointment on the Thursday before Thanksgiving. The ultrasound showed that the baby was measuring 2 weeks younger than they would have guessed by using my last period as a marker. The doctor ordered a more thorough ultrasound, which I got on Monday, Dec 2nd. That ultrasound gave us the official due date of June 30th, 2012. I've definitely been sick. This pregnancy seems to be on the same track as Mwelu's was, though not nearly as severe. I've already lost some weight (is it wrong for me to be secretly happy about that?). Anyway, we're very excited about the new arrival. I'm planning on going for a VBA2C (vaginal birth after 2 c-sections). I have a midwife picked out (based on a recommendation from my friend, Emily) whom I really hope will be supportive of that. It's a fairly new idea that a VBA2C can be successful, but I'm sure going to try! Anyway, Patrick and I are really excited about the arrival of the our new little one. We haven't told the girls yet. I figure I'll wait either until we know the gender or until Mwende asks me why my stomach is so big. Whichever comes first!

The fruits of the Spirit

2011-09-06T18:13:00.001-07:00

I just bought this piece off of Etsy. I did a little bit of homework and had it custom made by both Jamie at PostCardsFromGod and also by Crystal at SquareWear. Jamie did the artwork for the individual fruits for me and Crystal made me the scrabble tile bracelet using the artwork I bought from Jamie. I really really love this piece. I'll be using as a memory verse piece to help me remember to be displaying the fruits of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22-23, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." On the back, the scrabble tiles spell out "Galatians".

Kimeu is at home

2011-05-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

Its a pretty simple story actually. Patrick's mom called the woman who hired Kimeu and chewed him out for hiring a school-aged child. (Go Mom!) So the woman fired Kimeu and told him to go home. So he did. He is now staying with Grandma Beth (whom he was staying with before we sent him to boarding school.) Mom asked him what he was thinking when he ran away. He said that he wanted to earn enough money to start his own kiosk. I can only imagine that he didn't feel like he had any other options. So for now, we'll let him get settled in at home for awhile before we move on to the next step.

Sometimes God closes the door.

2011-05-24T07:31:00.000-07:00

So it had genuinely been my hope to adopt Kimeu. But God has definitively closed the door on this hope. 6 days ago I had emailed the Child Welfare Society of Kenya in order to inquire on adoption laws. Today I received a response.

" The child you would want to adopt has already attained the age of 16 years. According to the US laws on inter-country adoption, it is not possible to adopt a child who is aged 16 and above."

Of course, this breaks my heart. But I know that God's plans for Kimeu are so much better than mine. We will continue to pursue having him evaluated for any learning disabilities. Perhaps get him enrolled in a technical school. We will still do everything we can to give him an opportunity to get an education that will enable him to provide for himself and his future family.

Please continue to pray with us!

Kimeu update

2011-05-23T07:12:00.000-07:00

So Patrick hasn't talked to his mother in a couple of days, but the latest we know is that they've gotten the phone number of the woman who hired him but haven't been able to talk to Kimeu himself yet. So please continue to keep Kimeu's safe return home in your prayers.

There is another exciting development though! This morning I received a reply from one of the several emails I sent out requesting information on assessment for dyslexia. The email came from dyslexiakenya.org. She told me where to take Kimeu, when to take him there and how much it would cost. She even included information on Parent/Teacher workshops! What a blessing. So after Kimeu gets home, that will be our next step. So keep on praying!!

Kimeu cont...

2011-05-18T13:24:00.001-07:00

I've really been seeing God working the past 24 hours. A friend of mine emailed to say that they were praying James 1:5 and Phil 4:6-7 for me. Well, I believe both of those prayers have been answered. God has provided direction and peace for us as we seek the best way to help Kimeu. Shortly after I received that email, things just started happening. I was talking to my mom about the situation and she suggested that Kimeu might have dyslexia. Obviously we can't tell from here. I've been suspecting a learning disability (aka, a different learning style!) might be in play here anyway. I asked Patrick about it and he said that he didn't believe there were any resources in Kenya for people with dyslexia, etc. Now I have to say this is the FIRST time Patrick has ever been wrong ;), but thank goodness he was! Googling "dyslexia Kenya" returned several results and I was able to get a few emails out making inquiries about where to have Kimeu evaluated. But the blessings didn't stop there. Here are some ways that God has given us some direction:

The call from my mom mentioning dyslexia.
A missionary friend in Kenya commented that she knows about resources there for children with special needs AND she knows something about the adoption process out there.
A friend from my church in New York emailed me to say that she works for the Learning Disabilities Association and she just happens to be going to Kenya this summer.

Don't forget the ways God has given me peace in this whole thing!

A friend here in Orange County knows all sorts of stuff about raising money for the adoption process. This gives me peace of mind that if we end up there, lack of money won't be a closed door.
My Aunt emailed me to share a story about how she's found peace in a difficult situation and reminded me that I'm not the only one who cares about Kimeu. God loves him too.
In the midst of my prayer time last night, God interrupted me mid-sentence to give me Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." This gives me peace that God loves Kimeu and has good plans in store for him.
Knowing how many people are out there praying for Kimeu gives me great hope that this thing will turn out all right.

Thank you everyone so much for your prayers in this matter and your offers of help and knowledge, etc. I have one more prayer request to share with you concerning Kimeu. This one is more of immediate urgency than the other. The prayer request is that he goes home. Patrick's mother doesn't actually know where he is right now. She knows the direction he's in, but doesn't know where to go to find him. Please pray that either God would lead Kimeu to go home or that Patrick's mother will somehow be able to find him and bring him home so that we can help him.

Kimeu

2011-05-17T17:19:00.001-07:00

I have an urgent prayer request. You may have heard Patrick or I talk about Patrick's cousins, Sammy and Kimeu. If you haven't, I'll give you a brief history. Sammy and Kimeu's mother died several years ago. They're father abandoned them and they were living with their grandmother after that. A short while ago, their father came back to care for them only to die shortly thereafter. So Sammy and Kimeu are now orphans. With the financial help of my parents and Patrick's family, we've put them in a private boarding school there in Kenya. Sammy is doing well. Kimeu on the other hand is not. He's been doing poorly in school and started running away. Patrick's mother has continually taken him back to the school. We found out today that he ran away from school for the 5th time. Only this time he only went home long enough to change clothes before running away from there also. Patrick's mother got word that he was seen about 30-40 miles away and that he is working tending cows for some woman. They're still trying to figure that out. Since I first met Kimeu almost 6 years ago now, this boy has been close to my heart. He has such a sweet soul. You can see it just looking in his eyes. My heart hurts for him because I want the best for him, as if he were my own son. My heart's desire is to help this boy succeed in life. To see him thriving! Whether that's by adopting him and bringing him here or getting him the help he needs in Kenya as far as being evaluated for learning disabilities. He is 16 now though, so we are rapidly running out of time if we're going to adopt him. Please take a moment to pray for God to guide us in this matter and to give us success in helping Kimeu. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about this right now and I'm crying over this boy. In my mind, not helping him is not an option, so we need lots of prayer support on this!

Praying James 1:5 on this one! "But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him."

Culture differences

2011-05-17T08:24:00.001-07:00

The textbook for my Interpersonal Communication class just used the differences between American and Kenyan cultures to demonstrate how different cultures are in terms of individualism. I found this interesting why? Because I'm an American married to a Kenyan! See the quoted section below. Fun stuff.

"Individualism: One and Many

One of the most prominent dimensions of a culture is the dimension of individualism versus collectivism. Individualistic cultures, such as those in North America, value individual achievement and personal accomplishment. Collectivistic cultures, including many Asian cultures, value group and team achievement. One researcher summed up the American goal system this way:

Chief among the virtues claimed is self-realization. Each person is viewed as having a unique set of talents and potentials. The translation of these potentials into actuality is considered the highest purpose to which one can de- vote one’s life.

Conversely, in a collectivistic culture, people strive to attain goals for all members of the family, group, or community. In Kenyan tribes, for example,

Nobody is an isolated individual. Rather, his [or her] uniqueness is a secondary fact. In this new system group activities are dominant, responsibility is shared, and accountability is collective. Because of the emphasis on collectivity, harmony and cooperation among the group tends to be emphasized more than individual function and responsibility.

Individualistic cultures tend to be more loosely knit socially; individuals feel responsible for taking care of themselves and their immediate families. In collectivistic cultures, individuals expect more support from others; they also experience more loyalty to and from the community. Because collectivistic cultures place more value on “we” than “I,” teamwork approaches usually succeed better in their workplaces. U.S. businesses have tried to adopt some of Japan’s successful team strategies for achieving high productivity."

(Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others, 6th Edition. p. 95).

Grieving the death of Osama bin Laden

2011-05-02T13:54:00.000-07:00

I saw this quote on The Christian Homekeeper Network blog and I can't help but borrow from there.

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. "

—Jessica Dovey

Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that"

— Martin Luther King Jr.

The reason I posted this is because of all the celebration, rejoicing and delight people are taking in the death of Osama Bin Laden. I was even saying this to my husband last night. I do not understand it. Yes, I understand the hurt and pain and terror that man caused so many people. The deaths and grief that came at his hands. But taking joy in his death? I can't do it. I would rather have seen him captured and brought to justice for his crimes. Not that I am the judge, but as far as I know, Osama Bin Laden is going to hell. I would not wish an eternal existence separated from God on ANYONE. Even my worst enemy.

Here is a quote from the article "Is hell literally a place of fire and brimstone?" by GotQuestions.org.

"In addition to fire, the New Testament describes hell as a bottomless pit (abyss) (Revelation 20:3), a lake (Revelation 20:14), darkness (Matthew 25:30), death (Revelation 2:11), destruction (2 Thessalonians 1:9), everlasting torment (Revelation 20:10), a place of wailing and gnashing of teeth (Matthew 25:30), and a place of gradated punishment (Matthew 11:20-24; Luke 12:47-48; Revelation 20:12-13). The very variety of hell’s descriptors argues against applying a literal interpretation of any particular one. For instance, hell’s literal fire could emit no light, since hell would be literally dark. Its fire could not consume its literal fuel (persons!) since their torment is non-ending. Additionally, the gradation of punishments within hell also confounds literalness. Does hell’s fire burn Hitler more fiercely than an honest pagan? Does he fall more rapidly in the abyss than another? Is it darker for Hitler? Does he wail and gnash more loudly or more continually than the other? The variety and symbolic nature of descriptors do not lessen hell, however—just the opposite, in fact. Their combined effect describes a hell that is worse than death, darker than darkness, and deeper than any abyss. Hell is a place with more wailing and gnashing of teeth than any single descriptor could ever portray. Its symbolic descriptors bring us to a place beyond the limits of our language—to a place far worse than we could ever imagine."

Osama bin Laden is going to that place that is far worse than we could ever imagine. Don't get me wrong. I hate what he did. I still cry whenever I see pictures of the twin towers on fire. I still remember watching them fall and grieving for the lost souls there. I really want to stress that I do believe that what the US Military did was appropriate. He did get what he deserved. But I wouldn't wish hell on anyone, not even Osama bin Laden. And guess what? The deadline is death. I'm not taking even the slightest inkling of joy in that.

Remember Jesus' words in Matthew 5:43-48?

"You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor^[a] and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

Some scriptures from the old testament along those same lines:

"Do not rejoice when your enemy falls,
And do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles"
~Proverbs 24:17

"'As I live!' declares the Lord GOD, 'I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that the wicked turn from his way and live..."
~Ezekiel 33:11

I really hope that my fellow Christians are with me on this. Remember that "he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9). He didn't say "everyone except for Osama bin Laden." When he said "everyone", he really meant everyone. That's not an option anymore for Osama bin Laden. And THAT is something to grieve over, not rejoice in.

What "Love" means to me

2011-03-30T20:12:00.000-07:00

Assignment for my interpersonal communication class on what love means to me by way of a song.

I'm sure you're all familiar with the word association game. You're given a word and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Well when I hear the word “love”, the first thing I think of is God. 1 John 4:8 in the New American Standard Version (I will use this translation whenever I quote the bible from here on.) of the Christian Bible says “God is Love.” This is the reason I decided to choose the song “Beautiful” by the Christian artist, Mercy Me.

This song really represents to me the kind of “agape” love that God has for me. I've been hearing this song on 95.9 The Fish for months now, but it didn't really strike me until a couple of weeks ago. I was having one of those really crummy days where I was feeling rejected and unlovable. This song reminded me how valuable I am to God and just how loved I am by Him. Agape love is described as sacrificial love. The book, Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others on page 324, says “Agape love is based on a spiritual ideal of love. It involves giving of yourself and expecting nothing in return.” John 15:13 in the Bible says “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” Then Romans 5:8 goes on to say “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” This really sums up for me what agape love is all about.

The lyrics in the song Beautiful really do a good job expressing this love. The first verse says:

“The days will come when you don't have the strength
When all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much”

Even before this song really hit home and became significant in my life, this verse struck a chord in me. Growing up, I struggled with ADHD, overwhelming anger and depression. I tried to commit suicide several times. Although it was really more a cry for attention than it was an honest attempt to kill myself. I still remember the darkness and despair of those times though. I had no hope. I'm sure a lot of this contributed to a low self esteem. I constantly over analyze myself and other's opinions of me. Inherently I am self absorbed, I'm a liar, I'm overly dramatic, I have little tact, no self control and I rarely finish what I start. Of course realizing this about myself I've felt unworthy of love. I want love and I seek it, but ultimately I feel just plain unworthy and usually end up withdrawing because of that sense.

That is the part of God's agape love for me that I absolutely love. He knows me better than I know myself. Every action, every thought, every motive. And He still loves me enough to die. The third verse in Mercy Me's Beautiful talks about that. It says:

“Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die”

I love the way they said that. “You're the one He madly loves enough to die.” For heavens sake, he is GOD, creator of the Universe. Isaiah 40:26 talks about how he put the stars in the sky and calls them by name. Who I am that He would love me enough to die? But He did. Then being God as He is, he defeated death so that he could have a relationship with me.

But he didn't stop with defeating death to demonstrate his love for me. He did that for everyone, not just me. Part of the chorus of Beautiful says:

“You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His.”

Another part of the song says:

“You're beautiful in His eyes.”

Even though He sacrificed himself for everyone, I still feel special. I am his. I am beautiful to him. He has continued to prove this to me throughout my life. I could give you some “easy” examples that might be explained away by circumstances other than God's intervention. For instance, by all rights I should be an unmarried mother or addicted to drugs, in prison maybe. Actually the way I was going, I should be dead by now. But I'm not. I married to a wonderful man, the mother and stepmother of 4 wonderful kids. Pursuing a degree, albeit a little later than usual. I'm alive and thriving. My experience with this doesn't stop there though. I have two examples of experiences that I often rely on whenever I have doubts about whether or not God is real or how much he loves me.

The first happened when I was 5. Long before I committed myself to following Jesus. I was sitting by the back door and prayed out loud for God to give me a rainbow every day. I remember my mom trying to explain to me that God doesn't always give us everything we ask for. Later that day, a rainbow appeared in the sky. Shortly after that, I went to my first day of kindergarten. Painted on the back wall was a big rainbow. I still have a picture of me standing next to it with my kindergarten teacher. And I think of God's love for a little 5 year old girl every time I look at it.

My second example happened 4 years after I became a Christian. I was working at a bank as a teller supervisor in charge of the vault. I made a careless mistake while balancing my cash at the end of the day that made it look like I had tried to force balance the books. Of course this wasn't the case. I was on the bus on the way home when I realized my mistake and immediately called my supervisor to tell her that she would need to meet me in the morning to audit me. She did and then immediately fired me for force balancing. I tried to explain that it was an honest mistake, but they didn't bend and I was let go. This was completely unexpected and I was devastated. The rent was coming due, I didn't have any family in the area and didn't have a car to aid me in looking for another job. I spent the rest of my week traveling around on the bus filling out applications. I remember sitting in church on Sunday when they passed the offering plate. I had $4 in my purse. That was all the money I had left. I remember thinking that $4 wasn't going to do anything for me anyway, so I threw it in the offering plate. Immediately after the service a couple that I had been helping to watch their children approach me and tell me that they had a car they wanted to give me. The next day, Monday, Human Resources from my bank called and told me that my manager had been wrong to fire me. They asked if I wanted my job back. Between the timing and quantity and the quality of the blessings that God bestowed on me that weekend, I can't attribute it to anything other than God.

These two examples prove to me that, just as the song says, I am His. He is watching out for me on a personal level. He is involved in every facet of my life. He proved his love by dying for me and continues to prove His love to me by being with me.

Now, I became a Christian 10 years ago during a drug overdose at which time I realized that I was no longer in control of my life. I relinquished myself to God and was immediately overwhelmed with the reality of his love for me. I am so grateful to Him for everything he's done for me. Since then I've been working hard to show my appreciation. I can never adequately return his love. But in John 21:15-17 Jesus tells one of his disciples that if he really loves him, he should take care of his sheep. “His sheep” being those people who follow Jesus. In Matthew 25:34-40 Jesus talks about how when we care for those in need, we are caring for him. So now I do my best to love God in return by working to care for those in need. Whether it be sharing encouraging words with a person who is hurting, raising money or supplies for various charities in need or telling someone who needs to know how much they're loved just how much Jesus really loves them. I'm trying to do these things. And I still pray that God would give me more opportunities to love him by “feeding his sheep”.

In conclusion, my love for God is not an agape love. I'm not really sure what kind of love it is. A reactive love of gratitude, maybe. But if he withdrew his love from me, if he took it all back, I wouldn't love him. The wonderful thing about God's agape love is that it really is unconditional. It doesn't matter if I return his love or not. There is nothing I can do that would cause God to stop loving me. And that's what makes it agape love.

Christmas in Kenya

2011-01-24T07:51:00.001-08:00

So I've had a lot of people asking me for details from my trip to Kenya. There is so much to tell that I thought it would be easier to just do it this way.

I'll start by saying that this is the fourth time I've been to Kenya, but the very first time for the sole purpose of visiting family rather than a short term mission trip. It was a completely new experience! It was what I imagine it will be like when Patrick and I are working there as long term missionaries rather than short termers.

I spent a lot of time worrying about the girls in preparation for this trip. I thought to myself that it is one thing for me to get malaria or whatever other risks there are, but it is a completely different story when it involves my children. So any slight consideration to be had for them became huge worries for me and I spent a lot of time preparing as a result. At a Moms & More meeting at church one Thursday (when I was at the height of my worrying) I was reminded once again that Mwende and Mwelu are God's daughters and their lives are within his control. He has a plan for them just like he does for me. This gave me great comfort and enabled me to give all those worries to Jesus.

We bought a few things in preparation for the trip. We bought two Boba Carriers (one of which we accidentally left at home). The one that we brought ended up being INVALUABLE. It would have been even better had we remembered the other one! (Mwende still fits!) For the car, we bought a RideSafer Vest. This didn't end up being as useful as I had hoped. Most of the time we just ended up putting Mwende in the back middle with people on either side of her. We didn't bring a car seat for Mwelu. I had discussed the matter with her doctor and we had decided the most practical would be for her to just be held on my lap. I tended to put her in the Boba Carrier in the car as well. It just seemed more secure to me.

I went all out for the plane. For safety I bought Mwende the CARES system. I felt safer with her in it, but she tended to want out of it to lie down. So we used it about half the time. For Mwelu I bought the Baby B'Air flight vest. This was definitely useful and gave me a lot more peace of mind about Mwelu's safety in case of turbulence. It also turned out that Kenya Airways and Swiss Air gave us infant safety belts for takeoff and landing which threaded through my belt. By the way, I have to credit the discovery of a lot these items to Shelly Rivoli's book, Travels With Baby. Very useful book and website! In their carry-on and diaper bag I packed all sorts of things to keep the girls entertained. My sister gave Mwelu an Air Play tray table cover for Christmas. She liked playing with this on and off the plane. For Mwelu I also packed a couple of picture books, her baby doll, her Sophie Giraffe teether, and a duck puppet that quacks "Old McDonald". For Mwende I packed coloring books, sticker books, story books, a doodle pro, her baby doll and a surprise doll (in case of a meltdown) from South Africa that I picked up at a friends boutique. It turns out that most of this stuff for Mwende was pointless since international flights have movies.

I was also very concerned about medicines to take. I made sure to take every medicine that Mwende was able to take. This was pretty much limited to Tylenol, Benadryl and children's Tums. Mwende was also prescribed a anti-malarial by the travel clinic at Kaiser. Mwelu however was too young to be taking an anti-malarial, so we just had to hope for the best with her. I also brought medications for Patrick and I, but forgot the one medication that no one should ever go overseas with out. An antidiarrheal. :\

Anyway, that pretty much concludes the preparations part of it. The flights went much better than I expected them to. Some might recall that Heathrow Airport in London shut down shortly before Christmas. We came to find out that some of the people on our flight (not including us) were called and told that the flight was canceled. We weren't aware of this and showed up to the airport and were told that the flight was indefinitely delayed until Heathrow authorized the flight to come. So we made ourselves comfortable on the floor of LAX and the girls ran around and flirted with various people. It turned out it was only delayed 2 or so hours (I can't quite remember) and then we got to board shortly after 6pm and take off. The flight from Los Angeles to Heathrow went really smoothly. Mwelu promptly fell asleep and Mwende spent the first hour and a half watching Beauty and the Beast before she fell asleep. The flight was 10 1/2 hours long and they didn't wake up until we landed at Heathrow around 1pm, London time. I can't say the same for myself since I had Mwelu on my lap and was fearful of falling asleep with her there. Since we had, at this point, a 4 hour layover we just found it easier to relax and let everyone else get off the plane before we attempted it. We got off to a whole lot of confusion. It turned out the buses that normally go between terminals had stopped running due to the weather, so we had to go through customs in order to leave the airport and take the train to the correct terminal. The problem? We didn't bring coats and it was negative degrees outside. Turned out to not be so bad as all that. We never really went "outside", only into a train terminal that didn't have any heat. I had packed a lot of blankets in the carry on for sleeping on the airport floor, so we bundled up the girls really well and went for it. When we got to the correct terminal we found out that we didn't yet have a gate assigned. We managed to eat and then found an abandoned corner of the terminal that had plenty of space for the girls to play and a hookup for internet for Patrick and I to play. ;) Our plane ended up being about 3 1/2 hours late, but we certainly weren't complaining since there were many people that had been stranded in the airport for 3 days and didn't have an end in sight. All in all, we were very blessed to get in and out of Heathrow in the amount of time that we did. The girls didn't sleep as much on the 8 hour flight to Nairobi. But they were still very well behaved. Mwende watched a lot of movies and Mwelu was content to play with her toys. The low point came about two hours before we landed. Mwende had been complaining that her tummy hurt before falling asleep. Then she abrubtly woke up about 10 minutes later and started vomiting everywhere. Patrick handed off Mwelu to the woman in front of us and we got Mwende (and me) cleaned up. Unfortunately Mwende was in the last of 3 outfits that I had packed in the carry on for her, so we stuffed her into some of Mwelu's clothes. The rest of the flight went smoothly and we got through customs in Nairobi without a problem. By the way, Patrick was making fun of me on the plane because (even though I know better) I always scrutinize the tall grass as we're landing in hopes of spotting some lions or something. This time though we saw a whole herd of zebra right off the runway! So there! I'm not crazy. Anyway, waiting to greet us was Patrick's mom, his brother Sammy, his sister Peninnah and her daughter Fernice as well as our matatu driver friend David, whom we hired to transport us and all our luggage to the village. By this time I was extremely tired since I hadn't slept for more than 20 min since Saturday night (this was Tuesday). But we took a pit stop through Lucy's apartment (Lucy is Patrick's sister) while she was at work to take showers and eat some lunch. The shower was very much appreciated by me, especially since I knew it was the last one I would get for awhile. Then came the 2 or 3 hour drive to the village of Kamanzi in David's matatu. (Kamanzi is a small village slightly SE of Nairobi past Kangundo and Machakos. You won't find it on a map though.) It was a very bumpy ride since the roads in Kenya are not well kept. They are rocky and full of pot holes. I don't remember much of what happened immediately after we arrived at mom's house in the village (I still hadn't slept at this point). But I do remember that we were greeted by a group of 26 children. Mwende immediately labeled them as her friends and started trying to talk to them. Needless to say they couldn't understand her and she couldn't understand them. She kept telling them that she wanted to play and they would just stare at her. Finally her Uncle Sammy intervened and told the group that Mwende wanted to play and that it was their responsibility to teach her Kikamba (the local language). From that point on there were no problems playing. It turns out that young kids don't necessarily need to share the same spoken language in order to have fun playing together! Mwende also met the goats, chickens, dogs, milk cow and calf. Like I said, I don't remember much else from that day. I probably crashed and crashed hard.

You're probably thinking at this point that I am giving an day by day, minute by minute account of this trip. No worries! At this point I'm just going to share details of some of the highlights and memorable events of our time in the village. I will start by giving you a brief synopsis of a "typical" day, then go on to sharing the negative events of our time there before moving on to the positive highlights.

A typical day starts at sunrise which comes shortly after 6:30am. Mom goes out to milk the cow and breakfast is made. Breakfast consisted of tea and bread with butter, jam and peanut butter. (I learned later that having bread every morning was a luxury). Water needed to be fetched from the tank and they did that in large barrels. Our family drank bottled water that we brought from Nairobi. When we ran out, we boiled the water before drinking it. If we needed to use the toilet, there was an outhouse with a pit toilet inside. Theirs was nicer than many others I saw. They kept it clean and it was roomy. When we needed to use the toilet at night the Beam N Read flashlight that I won off the travelswithbaby.com website turned out to be invaluable. Lunch was usually leftovers from the night before, heated in a pot on a small gas stove in the house. Dinner was cooked in the kitchen, which was a separate building, over a wood fire. Dinner usually consisted of either chicken or goat stew with onions, tomatoes and potatoes. That was usually accompanied by a plate of either ugali or chapati and cooked cabbage or sukuma wiki. They also frequently had a dish with beans, corn and peas. But I'm not a beans fan, so I passed on that. Mwende and Mwelu loved it though! Mom has a shop on her compound, so some of the smaller things that we needed were easy to come by. Mwende made a habit of convincing her Uncle Sammy to buy her lollipops. We also were able to have soda most anytime we wanted thanks to Mom's shop. Laundry was hand washed in basins and hung out to dry. I was fortunate to be able to hire someone to do most of our wash for us. I only had to wash our undies! Bath time was always interesting. By the end of my time there I learned how to do the whole process myself. It involved fetching water from the tank, heating the water over a fire which needed to be constantly tended, getting the water to the house and mixing it with some cold water for just the right temperature. The girls were "easy" to bath. We just stuck them in the basin and splashed the water over them, just like in the bath at home. The problem came when they started to get scratches from playing so hard. Then bath-time became a fight. Bathing for us was standing over the basin. I used a cup to pour the water over me. Washing my hair was a pain. What always started as clean water usually resembled something closer to mud by the time we were done! But we didn't throw it out just yet. We'd use that same water to wash our feet before we went to bed. After bathing we ate dinner. Usually by this time the girls were so tired we could hardly convince them to wake up to take a bath, much less to eat dinner. So bedtimes were easy! In between meals, when we weren't off visiting people, we would just hang out keeping an eye on the kids to make sure no one got hurt. Bathing and dinner were all taken after the sunset which happened just before 7pm every night. We made sure to get all the water we needed for the night before it got dark as snakes coming to the tank for water were a danger.

Now on to the events of the trip. First I'll share about Monica. Monica was a woman who Patrick's mom hired to help in the house. When we arrived I met her briefly before Patrick explained to me that she was HIV+ and that she was taking a sick leave. When I met her she was sitting on the couch in mom's house and we talked briefly. Several days later Patrick and I went to visit her at her home because we heard that she had taken very ill. When we arrived I didn't recognize her as the woman I met in the house. She was covered in blankets with lace over her face to keep the flies off. Her eyes were glazed over and it was painfully obviously that she was having much difficulty breathing. She was attended by family. Nothing was said at that time, but it was painfully obvious even to me that this woman was dying. I asked if she knew Jesus as her Lord and Savior and was thankfully told that she did. We learned two mornings later that she had passed away. This made a deep impact on me. I don't think I've ever really seen a person that was dying, much less of HIV/AIDS. Patrick told me later that based on what he saw, he believes that she died of complications from Tuberculosis. I thank God that she is free from her pain now and in heaven with her savior. I also pray for the children that were left behind as orphans.

Another unfortunate event that occurred while we were there involved a man caught stealing onions and the implementation of mob justice. It is very unfortunate that in the rural areas there is no police presence. So when a crime occurs, the mob becomes the judge, jury and executioner. In this case two men were discovered stealing onions from someone's farm. One man escaped, but the other was caught. Patrick and I were woken up to a lot of shouting. Patrick went to see what was going on, but came back because he didn't want to leave us alone. What ended up happening was that this man was severely beaten and then burned for his crime. His funeral was held about a week later. Very scary and very sad.

On a less severe note, during our 2nd week there, we all got sick. Patrick came down with some sort of respiratory illness which, now a week after our return, he is still trying to recover from. Mwende and I got diarrhea. Mwende a mild case and I a quite severe case of it. (which why I was lamenting the fact that I forgot to bring an antidiarrheal!) Mwelu got a scratch on her forehead which ended up getting infected and causing a fever. So Patrick took all of us to the medical clinic in Kivaani to have the doctor take a look at us. Mwelu was fairly simple. She had just reopened the sore, so the puss was draining. We were told to put Neosporin on it and leave it open to air dry. Mwende was given medicine and re-hydration solution. I got my antidiarrheal and a re-hydration solution as well. And Patrick got a cough suppressant. Mwende's and my illnesses lasted for about a week before they passed. However not before we had the opportunity to experience some of Grandma Beth's (Patrick's grandmother) traditional medicine. She came and gave Mwende and I stomach massages. It was apparent that she knew what she was doing. And wouldn't you know it, that was the turning point for me! I felt much better after that.

We had a bit of excitement one night when Patrick nearly stepped on a snake. It turned out to be a baby Cobra. Patrick yelled to me to come and bring a stick, a big stick. I told him I really felt like this was a man's job and called for his brother, Sammy. Sammy got a stick and thoroughly smashed the snake. Then they threw it down the pit toilet. Patrick wanted to make sure it was completely dead so he went and got some hot coals and threw those down the pit toilet too. No chance that snake was coming back!

Now on to the positive highlights of the trip. For me the most wonderful time of all was when we had Patrick's children Joan Mumbua (aged 11) and Joseph Kiio (aged 12) stay with us for the week between Christmas until just after the New Year. This is the first time all 4 siblings have been together, so I was really hoping for some serious bonding time. I'd met Kiio before, but this was the first time meeting Mumbua for me. What wonderful kids they are! Their mothers, despite the obstacles, have done such wonderful jobs raising them. Mwende followed Mumbua around constantly while Kiio played with his cousins, Ian and Arthur. This arrangement caused quite a stir in the village as many people couldn't believe what they were hearing. One man came out and said it to Patrick, "How do you manage to hide these children from your wife in plain sight??" They found it difficult to believe that Patrick had told me long ago and even harder to believe that I accepted and loved these kids.

During the week that we had Mumbua and Kiio, we took a "field trip" to Nairobi. Our matatu driver, David, came and picked us up. Going were Patrick and I, Mwende, Mwelu, Kiio, Mumbua, Mom, Lucy, Patrick's nephews, Ian and Arthur, and his cousins, Sammy and Kimeu. We went first to the Nairobi National Park where we saw mainly giraffe, zebra and gazelle. We were hoping to see a lion or some rhinoceros, but weren't that fortunate. From there we went to the Giraffe Centre where the kids had an opportunity to feed giraffes. It was a full fun day where we left as the sun came up and didn't get back into the village until after dark.

Also during the time that we had Mumbua and Kiio with us, we took the bedsheets that we had collected for Mwende's birthday to the medical clinic in Kivaani in order to donate them. They were gratefully received and we learned that the greatest need of the clinic right now is electricity.

We had two goat roast gatherings while we were there. One for the Musyimi family (Patrick's father's family) and another for mom's extended family. The gathering for the Musyimi family was intended to bring the family together to talk as there have been a lot of tensions in the family in recent years. It didn't go as well as hoped with a lot of hurt feelings coming out from many years back. Patrick felt like it was a failure, but I disagreed with him, saying that people finally got together and at least talked. Even if it ended negatively, there was still some communication going on. We're continuing to pray that these family members can put their hurts behind them and reconcile with their relatives. The gathering for mom's extended family went very well. A lot of people that I hadn't met before and it turned out very positively.

Our last week in the village was characterized by sending kids off to school. Kiio went back home so that he could attend the Iie Itune Primary School which wasn't far from us. Mumbua went back to her mother's home in Tala (about 45 min drive on the way back to Nairobi) so that she could attend her school. I have to admit I cried a bit when these kids left. It will be years before I see their beautiful faces again. Ian (10y), Arthur (12y), Sammy (12y) and Kimeu (14y) went off to boarding school. The compound was significantly quieter with the absence of these boys. Sammy and Kimeu are orphans. Until we sent them to boarding school, they were in the care of their 80+ year old grandmother. We are hoping to adopt them sometime in the next 4 years and bring them to live with us. Mwende also went to school. They had a nursery school. We got her a uniform and everything. She was there from 8am to 1pm every day for a week. Starting on the second day, she started walking home by herself accompanied by a large group of children. It was nice to have a little break during the day! She did a lot of coloring and tracing numbers and letters.

At the end of this week we left the village to go stay with our friends the Ochanji's in Nairobi so that Patrick could do his work at Kenyatta University. Mwende's was happy to see her friend Ashley whom is a frequent visitor to our home in California. This was a bittersweet experience for me. I was very happy to have a real toilet once again! But I was back to trying to entertain the girls. I felt a bit depressed at this point for having left the village. I wanted to go back and so did Mwende. It was nice to be able to go get some of the foods that I am more used to. We ate a lot of chips (aka french fries)! Samosas were among my favorite treats there too. On a down side, Nairobi is infested with mosquitoes. (There really weren't any in the village). So the week that we were in Nairobi, I got eaten alive!

After Patrick finished with his workshops, we moved on to Lucy's house. If possible she had an even worse mosquito problem than the Ochanjis did! But she had a working shower with hot running water which was a beautiful thing. (washing hair like mine in a basin is enough to make me want to shave my head!) While we were there we took Mwende to have her hair done. It took about 2-3 hours and with the help of coloring books, soda and movies on Patrick's ipad, Mwende did a great job of sitting still. The day before we left we also visited the Masaai Market in Nairobi in order to pick up some souvenirs for folks at home. This was a fun experience. I think people looked at my white skin and instantly tried to charge me 10x the amount that they would charge their countrymen. They were surprised to find that I was aware of their scheme and fully ready to negotiate the price. Patrick would come behind me and tell them to address me in Kikamba (I have all the greetings down) and how could they possibly overcharge one of their own? So I got some really good prices on some really great items! After this we went for lunch at a Wimpy Burger. I'd never heard of it before and thought the name was pretty funny. But it was one of the best burgers I ever tasted! Definitely not a "wimpy" burger. ;) After this, we went to go pick up Patrick's sister, Peninnah. I finally got to meet her husband, Gideon and get a picture of their family. From there we went to Patrick's sister's house, Juliana, for a brief visit. I got to meet her sons PJ and Nate for the first time. I have yet to meet her husband. Some day though! Then it was back to Lucy's to pack up and head to the airport for our 12:20am flight. The girls fell asleep in the van and didn't really wake up until we reached Zurich.

The only other thing really worth mentioning is that the airport in Zurich has an AWESOME children's play area. It was confusing trying to get there, but worth it. It had two large rooms. One for older kids with slides and hula hoops, etc. Another for babies with age appropriate toys. It also had changing stations complete with wipes AND a nap room filled with cribs. We had a 7 hour layover there and spent most of the time there. Mwende played the entire time with a seven year old girl named Deanna. Mwelu spent most of the time chasing them around. Towards the end I fell asleep with Mwelu on a huge pile of animal shaped pillows in a corner. Best layover with kids EVER!!

Anyway, that's about it. The flight to LA went well. We arrived at 4:00 in the afternoon LA time. Had pizza that night and went to bed. I should mention that as I write this a week later, we are still struggling with jet lag. :|

To sum up, it was the trip of a lifetime and I can't wait to go back!

Toys

2010-10-22T18:13:00.000-07:00

I am obviously over-thinking this. But today I went to a consignment sale (www.ockidsconsignment.com) to buy Christmas gifts for the girls. I spent $51 on "gently used" toys. I was fairly proud of myself. I got an easel, a sit 'n spin, noah's ark set, refrigerator phonics set and wooden alphabet blocks for Mwende. I got abc stacking boxes, wooden stacking blocks, a pull toy telephone, butterfly spin toy and a sweater for Mwelu. I did good! Right? Well I got home and separated out what they would get for Christmas/Mwelu's birthday and gave them the rest to play with now. I was sitting on the floor with Mwelu watching her try to figure out the butterfly spin toy and suddenly just felt very sad. Here I am spending $51 on toys for my children that we don't really have room for anyway. Not to mention they have plenty of toys already. And yet there are millions of children around the world who not only don't have any toys to play with, they don't have enough food to eat or clean water to drink. There are children who's childhood has been lost to them due to poverty or war. And I'm buying my children toys they don't need. Are they enjoying them? Yes. Does that make me feel better right now? No. Should I stop buying my kids frivolous things and put that money instead towards these children who need it more? I don't know the answer to that. And it bugs me. I'm not trying to preach. Just sharing the thoughts going through my head. It helps me organize my thoughts to write it out.

Prop 8

2010-08-04T22:21:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard already, Chief US District Judge Vaughn Walker overturned Prop 8 today. Honestly, this isn't an issue that I feel terribly strong about. I voted for it and was pleased that it passed. But I would rather have had Prop 4 (Abortion Waiting Period and Parental Notification Initiative) pass and Prop 8 fail if I had to choose. Anyway, I'm really just not sure how to feel about what happened today with the overturning of Prop 8. My initial reaction was outrage. My thought was, 'So much for democracy!' The idea that I voted with the majority and that it was overturned by a judge who is himself gay and therefore I feel too biased to make that kind of decision just sits wrong with me. I really kind of feel that the government has given itself too much power here and ignored the will of the people which is what government should truly reflect. HOWEVER, the people are not always right. While I believe that in this case, they were right, that is not always the case. Hence my confusion on how to feel. The United States is NOT a Christian country. As much as I would like to live in a place that is governed and occupied by people who share my Christian values, I don't. And honestly, if I step back and look at the issue from a non-Christian standpoint, then it would seem that the judge made the right decision here. I can't expect non-Christians to act like Christians because they're just not. If the Holy Spirit is not in their lives, convicting them of their wrong-doing (and yes, I believe that homo-sexuality is wrong. The bible states this clearly in Leviticus 18:22 saying "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable." as well as in other places especially concerning Sodom & Gomorrah) then I can't expect them to know that it is wrong. With that in mind maybe this was the "right" decision? As a Christian though, this really just indicates to me the moral decay that our society is displaying.

Besides all this I just want to say that I really wonder how Jesus would respond to this. I believe that he would let it be known on no uncertain terms that it is NOT OKAY. But in the same breath he would let these people know just how very much he loves them. Homosexuality is a sin just the same as lying, stealing, adultery and the rest. And I know that God doesn't love the homosexual person any less then he does the person who "only" tells a lie here and there. And he doesn't love the liar more than he loves the murderer. Sin is sin in God's eyes. It ALL separates us from him. It doesn't matter what that sin is. Thank you Father God that you love ALL of us so much that you sent your son, Jesus, to die for us and pay the consequence for all our sins!

I really hope that the Christian community doesn't forget the love of Jesus as they react to this decision on gay marriage.

Richard Stearns' - The Hole In Our Gospel - Chapter 1

2010-04-28T15:15:00.000-07:00

I am reading The Hole In Our Gospel by Richard Stearns with my small group in church. The basic idea of the book is that many Christians, that find themselves in a comfortable place in life, are falling short of what God expects of them. They might be going to church, praying, reading their bibles and avoiding the big sins, but that's where they stop. From what I can gather so far, its a book about putting your faith into action and not just sitting complacently.

When I first looked at it, I thought to myself "Well, there's no hole in my gospel!". Of course I said this without even a smidgen of pride. (yeah right!) Well, I'm only on the first chapter and Richard Stearns has already poked my theory full of holes. Haha. No pun intended. I am hoping to blog through this book chapter by chapter as I read through it. This isn't intended to be a play by play of the book. Just my thoughts on it.

Introduction:

The part that sticks out in my mind the most in this section is where Stearns quotes Johnny Cash when he sung "You're so heavenly minded, you're no earthly good." Wow. I have to ask myself as I seek to strengthen my relationship with God, am I any good to the people around me? Haha, if you look at the clutter around my house I'm going to have to go with no...

Chapter One:

I'm already smacking myself in the forehead as I read this. Remember when Jesus prayed in Matthew 6:10 "Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven"??? I have to admit that went right over my head. Stearns clarifies " His was not intended to be a far-off and distant kingdom to be experienced only in the afterlife; no, Christ's proclamation of the "kingdom of heaven" was a call for a redeemed world order populated by redeemed people--now. In other words, the perfect kingdom of God that I just described was to begin on earth." Um geez. I haven't exactly done much towards that end. That's a tall order and here I am sitting on my bum. Something like that takes a lot of people working together to get it finished. If anyone is slacking off, then its just that much longer until it happens. I need to step up!

Stearns goes on to talk about about how we've somehow managed to turn evangelism into getting people to buy fire insurance for their homes while completely ignoring the fact that for many people, their "homes" are falling down around them. (this is my paraphrase, not a quote from the book.) We're trying to get them to pray the sinner's pray but not attending to their physical or emotional needs. They're starving or dying, but as long as they pray that prayer we say "Praise God" and move on to the next sinner in need of repentance.

That makes me think of a line in a Christafari song (Christafari is only my all time favorite band. They're a christian reggae band.) The song is called Preach the Gospel (Every Day Living). He sings "Preach the gospel use words when necessary." Google it if you want to see the complete lyrics. LOVE that song! But I think that might be what Stearns is trying to get at here. The one line that made the biggest impression on me in this section was this: "Christianity is a faith that was meant to spread---but not through coercion. God's love was intended to be demonstrated, not dictated. Our job is not to manipulate or induce others to agree with us or to leave their religion and embrace Christianity. Our charge is to both proclaim and embody the gospel so that others can see, hear, and feel God's love in tangible ways. When we are living out our faith with integrity and compassion in the world, God can use us to give others a glimpse of His love and character. It is God--not us--who works in the hearts of men and women to forgive and redeem. Coercion is not necessary or even particulary helpful. God is responsible for the harvest--but we must plant, water, and cultivate the seeds."

I forget this often. I remember witnessing to a classmate while we sat on the city bus, I guess about a year ago. It was a very intellectual conversation. I was trying to persuade him, without looking like I was trying, and I felt very desperately that I wanted him to see the truth right then and there! Even witnessing sometimes to my very best friend in the world, I get so desperate for her to just see and understand, that I wouldn't be surprised if my onslaught of words turned her off to the gospel completely. Well I know that she knows I love her, so I can only hope that in both of these cases, God can somehow use my over-zealousness for good. I want to think that my friend has seen my faith in action. But I can't think if my classmate ever did. Hm.

Stearns also talks about how we may never see the harvest we hope for. We don't know where along the line in someone's life we've come into. It may be anywhere from clearing the field to planting the seeds, to reaping the harvest. I need to remember that. I tend to get discouraged easily. I don't like to think that I'm not taking anyone to heaven with me. Yep, I've never been there to reap the harvest. I pray that God will bless me with that opportunity someday. Until then, I need to learn to be content with helping plant the seeds!

Stearns talks about Jesus' mission statement being from Isaiah 61 as quoted in Luke 4:14-21. "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." Stearns breaks this statement down into three parts: proclamation of the good news, a compassion for the sick and the sorrowful and commitment to justice. Jesus set the example for us. Remember that popular phrase a few years back "What Would Jesus Do?" Well, if he were here today, I wonder where on this earth he would be and what he would be doing. I imagine that's what I where I need to be...

On a side note, I am writing this blog as I read the chapter, so I won't forget anything. Stearns just quoted Saint Francis of Assisi when he said "Preach the gospel always; when necessary use words." Haha, I guess that's where Christafari's Mark Mohr got it! My bad. Well, it still makes for a great song!

Stearns closes out the chapter with a story of how his friend Jim Wallis went through and cut every verse about poverty and justice out of the bible. It makes me cringe because that seems sooo sacrilegious! Apparently there were over 2000 verses that he cut out and the result was a bible that was falling apart. When Wallis would speak about the issue, he would hold up that bible and say "this is our American Bible; it is full of holes. Each one of us might as well take our Bibles, a pair of scissors, and begin cutting out all the scriptures we pay no attention to, all the biblical texts that we just ignore." That story hit me kind of hard. Because if I'm really a Bible believing Christian, then I shouldn't be picking and choosing what parts I want to follow.

Thanks for listening to me think. Let me know if I don't make any sense! :)

My ministries

2010-04-21T13:01:00.000-07:00

So as a mom of two little girls my days mostly consist of keeping my 4 month old happy and keeping my 2 year old alive. There are a lot of play dates involved and a lot of walks to the park and when I get a chance and have any energy left over, a bit of housecleaning. I love being a mom and am pretty sure that is what I was born to do. However I have felt the pain of not being able to get out and show Christ's love to people in my community and in the world. My heart's desire is to be a missionary overseas, but God hasn't seen fit to enable me to do that just yet. Now, many people have told me that at this point in my life my children are ministry and that I don't need to worry about doing anything more. I know this is true, but I'm not content with that. I want my children to see me ministering to other people and I want to feel like I'm making some sort of difference with people outside of my own family in addition to it.

...as I was writing this, my 2 year old daughter Mwende came running over and knocked a tall glass of Crystal Lite all over my husband's laptop which I was using. If you wouldn't mind please pray that 1-my husband's computer is salvageable. 2-he continues to let me use it. and 3-I get my own laptop! I am now using our less than reliable and noticeably slow desktop computer. :p...

ANYWAY, yes my children are my ministry but I am not content to stop there. So I started looking for ministry opportunities that I can do with my kids since I am a Stay-At-Home Mom. Turns out that they don't take volunteers with kids in tow down at the pregnancy clinic and its the same story with every other ministry that I could find. In short I would need to find child care to do any sort of typical ministry. Then, in my Reach class at Calvary Church of Santa Ana, one of the elders introduced me to Global Media Outreach (http://www.globalmediaoutreach.com/). They needed volunteers to become Online Missionaries. Reach the world for Christ from the comfort of your very own home! FINALLY here was something I could do without neglecting my children. It is very simple really. I answer emails from people who are seeking God. I signed up after my 2nd baby girl turned 1 month old and have been doing it (nearly) every day since. I get emails from 3 types of people. People who don't know Jesus but want more information about him. People who have gone to one of GMO's website (e.g. Jesus2020.com) and accepted Christ as their Lord & Savior as a result and people who have recommitted their lives to Christ. I answer their emails by giving them guidance in what step to take next in their journey, answering any questions they might have, encouraging them in whatever trials they find themselves in and then encouraging them to write back. Not many people write back, but I've found that I am able to be a tremendous encouragement to those that do. It makes me so happy that I am able to reach out and touch these people from all around the world as they seek God. I don't intend to stop this ministry ANY time soon!

The second ministry that I jumped on board with is called Safe Families (http://www.safe-families.org/). This ministry involves families in the church stepping in and opening up their homes to the children of parents who are in crisis and unable to care for their children for either or short or longer period of time. As soon as I heard of this ministry I wanted to be involved. I have a strong desire to be a "safe family" myself and open my home to children in need, but for certain reasons I am unable to at this time. But that hasn't stopped me from getting involved in other ways! I signed up to babysit, make meals and to be administrative support. Babysitting and making meals are obvious. As an administrator I call people who have signed up to find out exactly how they want to be involved and also input new volunteer information. Hopefully someday God will also see fit to bless me with the opportunity to welcome a child in need into my home!

So as you can see I have managed to find ministry opportunities that I can jump into without compromising my ministry to my children. I am hoping to start using this blog to report on how these ministries have blessed me.

Pregnancy update through 31 weeks

2009-10-05T10:57:00.000-07:00

I'm guessing I'm about due to give an update on this pregnancy. It's really not that exciting, which is good! The second trimester treated me well. Other than ALOT of fatigue, it was easy sailing. I attributed the fatigue to being pregnant in combination with chasing a 2 year old around. However it turns out that I had iron deficiency anemia. So the doctor put me on an iron supplement a little over a week ago and the difference in my energy levels is amazing! Suddenly housework is getting done! Which makes my husband happy. ;) Other than that one complication, this pregnancy has been amazingly easy compared to Mwende's. She moves so much that I never have to worry about whether or not she is alive in there. In fact, it is such an easy pregnancy that I find myself forgetting that I am pregnant most of the time! Well, not forgetting, but not really thinking about it all that much. Which I think is creating a problem in the area of preparation. I haven't taken any childbirth classes or really done any preparation other than buying a new carseat. I still need to take a refresher class. (Going to try the Bradley method this time). I need to sort through Mwende's old baby clothes to see what is still usable and what I need to go get. Actually I suspect I will be surprised at how little is usable since Mwende was born in the heat of September and this one will be born in December. Even if we are in California! Oh yeah, I still need to transfer my medical records from Syracuse, NY. Seeing as how its been over a year since we moved here, I guess that is the epitomy of procrastination.

In other news, Patrick possibly has the opportunity to go work with teachers in Kenya at the beginning of the year! I am so excited for him to have this opportunity. I wish with all my heart that we could go with him, but with a newborn that just isn't possible. I also considered sending Mwende with him and having her stay with her Susu while Patrick is working, but I am selfish and want to be there for Mwende's first trip to Kenya. Based on this new information, we decided to go spend Christmas with my parents in New Mexico and I will stay there until Patrick returns from Kenya. So Patrick will fly to Kenya out of Albuquerque and then fly back in to drive us all home. I'm excited about getting to spend Christmas with my family again!

Speaking of driving, there is one more preparation we need to make for the new baby. We need to upgrade to a minivan! Haha. I guess that makes me officially grown up. Seeing as how I'm I mom now, I guess I'm okay with that. We're looking at either a Honda Odyssey or a Dodge Grand Caravan. Obviously we're hoping for the Honda Odyssey, but the trick is finding one we can afford.

I think that is all that's new with us. I'm sure I'm probably forgetting something, but oh well. Happy Autumn everyone!

pregnancy update through 22 weeks

2009-07-31T15:28:00.000-07:00

So I've been reminded by a friend that I need to pay more attention to my blog! Haha. Anyyyyway, its high time that I blog a bit on how this pregnancy is going. Especially since I haven't said a word since actually announcing that I am pregnant.

This pregnancy has really flown by for me. The first trimester was hard on me. After the bleeding and threat of miscarriage finally stopped, the "vertical" sickness set in. Which I thanked God for all day long, because it is indicative of a healthy pregnancy. I don't really remember when I stopped feeling sick, but it wasn't the kind where you get nauseous, vomit and then feel moderately better until the next go around. Nope, this was just CONSTANT nausea without the relief of vomiting. I ended up losing 16 lbs before it finally passed. The doctor told me to eat whatever I want whenever I want. Most of the time I was just unable to eat much of anything at all. I still haven't put on any reasonable amount of weight, but at least I've stopped losing weight now. Fortunately for me, God in all His infinite wisdom sent my mother-in-law to take care of Mwende while I was sick. We flew her in from Kenya, East Africa to attend my husband's graduation ceremony and she was able to stay for 2 months. What a blessing! At some point she asked me what I would have done if she hadn't been here. I told her that I wasn't going to think of it, because God planned it all to work out like it did. I was very sad when my mother-in-law finally had to leave on July 1st. Mwende was even more sad than I and still asks for her 'Susu'. She lights up when she has the opportunity to talk to her Susu on the phone and likes to show whomever will look her photograph of her Susu.

Anyway, back to the pregnancy. I started feeling the baby at 12 weeks. I thought I was imagining it at first, but it just kept getting stronger and the doctor assured me that I wasn't crazy. On June 17th (I was 15 wks 5 days), a very kind mid-wife did an ultrasound during my regular monthly appointment so that my mother-in-law could see the baby. (She had never seen an ultrasound before). While the baby didn't move much, we did get to see and hear her heartbeat and observe her having the hiccups and swallowing amniotic fluid. After scanning the ultrasound photographs, I gave them to my mother-in-law to take home with her to Kenya. Oh, almost forgot! At this same appointment, the midwife told us that she was 70% sure that we were having a girl. Since it was still early for gender determination though, we decided to wait to tell anyone until it was confirmed at the official ultrasound on July 14th. Since my mother-in-law already knew though, I went ahead and told my mother. July 14th arrived and so did confirmation that we are having a girl! I am delighted that Mwende will be getting a baby sister. Especially since I'm pretty sure that means that I can talk Patrick into at least one more, since I absolutely HAVE to have a son at some point. All that much closer to my goal of 2 girls and 2 boys. ;)

We moved in the later part of July to an apartment that is cheaper, a bit bigger and closer to work. I was starting to get concerned, because after each long day of working to move us (but leaving all the heavy lifting to Patrick!) I was getting strong period-like cramps. As soon as I felt them I would drop everything and lay down to rest, but it still concerned me. Fortunately, God answered my prayers by increasing our baby girl's energy and allowing me to feel her even more often than usual. About three days ago, I started to think that I might be able to feel her with my hand lying on my stomach. I wasn't sure though. Then yesterday, for sure! Patrick wasn't home, so I called Mwende over and put her hand on my stomach and she was able to feel her sister kick! Now I have to say that Mwende didn't care much and was more interested in digging in my belly button chanting "baby! baby! baby!". But that's okay, it was still fun having her feel her sister. Then this morning Patrick got to feel her for the first time. He showed quite a bit more interest than Mwende did! That being said, the fact that I can feel this baby with my hand somehow makes it more of a reality for me. So now that the it is really sinking in, I am starting to get really excited about meeting her. I even watched TLC's "Baby Story" and "Birth Day" today. It made me shiver in anticipation as I remembered the feelings of going to the hospital to deliver Mwende.

On a side note, yes we have a name picked out for our baby girl. Her name won't be revealed though until she is born and we will introduce her to you all! I'm already calling her by name though, so I hope I don't slip up! Haha.

I'm pregnant!

2009-04-15T13:57:00.000-07:00

Hmm, how to start this one? I might as well start from the beginning. On April 3rd, I went for my annual OBGYN appointment. At this appointment I was told that I was pregnant. This was not expected at all, because not only had Patrick and I not been trying, but I had been having some issues to the point where I honestly didn't believe I could get pregnant again. So we were quite shocked (and very happy!). We decided to wait to tell until my parents and Patrick's mom were here in CA at the end of May. I had it all planned out. Mwende was going to come out from a nap in a "I'm the big sister" t-shirt or something to that effect. Needless to say, we didn't wait until then to tell. This past week has been very hard for me. I went to the Emergency Room on Thursday and Saturday for bleeding and cramping. Both times ultrasounds were done and they said that I hadn't miscarried yet, but I was likely to and to go home and rest. On Saturday and again on Monday, they drew blood to measure my HCG hormone levels. The reason being, in a healthy pregnancy these levels are expected to double in a 48 hour period. On Thursday, the levels were at 10,000. On Saturday, the levels were at 14,000. Not even close to having doubled. I saw the OBGYN today for followup and she explained to me that while it is certainly possible for a woman to have a healthy pregnancy with those results, it is rare. She did an ultrasound, telling me that with my hormone levels as they were, she didn't really expect to see any growth. (They had seen the yolk sac in the previous ultrasounds). But praise God in heaven, she did not see what she expected to! We were able to see the baby AND see its beating heart! When she measured it, it measured appropriately for 6 weeks 1 day, which is exactly where I am based on my estimated due date of December 8th. The doctor told me this is all very encouraging (she was actually quite surprised herself!) and that there is strong possibility that I will carry this baby to term normally. (Although of course she can't give any guarantees.) So, Jesus willing, Mwende will be a big sister in early December!

The reason I am sharing this with you so early is because I need your prayers. It comforts me to know that God is in control of all this. I have been praying like crazy and reading the Psalms for comfort. I am praying that His will, not mine be done. But I really really pray that in this case, His will is the same as mine. I am already crazy in love with this happy surprise of a baby and I do not want to lose him (or her)! So please share in our joy as we look forward to another baby in the house, but continue to keep this special little one's safety in your prayers.

(And the reason I am posting this on my blog is so that I can now freely blog about everything I'm feeling!)

The language of love

2009-04-05T17:17:00.001-07:00

So, I just recently finished reading "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Patrick is reading through it now. Basically it talks about how we all speak different love languages
and if we don't learn our partner's love language, then their "love tank" will eventually get empty and they won't feel loved. Based on what I learned, I believe that my love language is 'Quality Time'. I'm not really sure what Patrick's is yet. I suspect that it is 'Acts of Service'. I know that it is not 'Gift Giving'! Anyway, the reason that I write this is that I want to share how my husband put me on cloud nine yesterday with what I consider to be an amazing act of love! (Which led to a lot of house cleaning out of love on my part!)

Originally, we were going to go as a family to the La Habra Children's Museum. He now realizes that family time is really important to me, so he agreed to go with us to this event where he would help Mwende plant some flowers. Unfortunately, Mwende got sick. Her energy levels were just as high as ever, but she had a bit of a runny nose and a nasty cough. I didn't want any other kids to get infected, so I suggested we go for an easy hike. Patrick was all for it! So I got all excited and did some research and found a nice trail up in Chino Hills State Park. We finally managed to get out of the house by 2:00ish and spent a good 3 hours hiking. Mwende walked some of the way, but took more joy playing in the dirt.

Here is the real kicker that made me feel sooo loved. I later found out that the Final Four (college basketball tournament) was on tv while we were out hiking. Patrick is obsessed with college basketball. So the fact that he gave up watching his college basketball 'playoffs' to spend time with Mwende and I just blew me away! I feel so loved.

Isaiah Chapter 1

2009-03-13T12:53:00.000-07:00

Today I read Isaiah chapter 1. I want to get out what I gleaned from that. In verses 11-20, the LORD says:

""The multitude of your sacrifices--what are they to me?" says the LORD. "I have more than enough of burnt offerings, of rams and the fat of fattened animals; I have no pleasure in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats. When you come to appear before me, who has asked this of you, this trampling of my courts? Stop bringing meaningless offerings! Your incense is detestable to me. New Moons, Sabbaths and convocations--I cannot bear your evil assemblies. Your New Moon festivals and your appointed feasts my soul hates. They have become a burden to me; I am weary of bearing them. When you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are full of blood; wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight! Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are as crimson, they shall be like wool. If you are willing and obedient, you will eat from the best of the land; but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword." For the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

This tells me just how badly the LORD my God wants to be in a relationship with me. He wants me to love and obey Him! This is not a god that is satisfied with lip service and religious duties, He wants my whole heart. I can't go to church on Sunday and ignore Him the rest of the week. I can't pray to Him in the morning and continue on with "my" life for the rest of the day. He wants all of me! Not only that, He is just waiting for me to love Him so that He can bless me beyond my wildest dreams! There is no leading a double life where God is concerned. As far as He is concerned, I'm all in or I'm all out. Hot or cold. He doesn't tolerate lukewarm 'Sunday' Christians. I think that I used to be hot hot hot, but somehow, I've regressed to some lukewarm state where He is not always on mind. Time to turn up the heat.

Time to wake up!

2009-03-09T09:40:00.001-07:00

In service yesterday, we had a visiting missionary from Kenya come to speak. His message was something that I think I really need to hear. It was really simple. I need to wake up from this spiritual slumber that I'm in and pray to God! The following is Matthew 26:38-45. I've highlighted some of the words.

³⁸Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." ³⁹Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." ⁴⁰Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?" he asked Peter. ⁴¹"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." ⁴²He went away a second time and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done." ⁴³When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy.⁴⁴So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. ⁴⁵Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour is near, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.

I find also that my spirit is willing, but that my body is weak. I yearn to be so close to God that I am constantly talking to Him, constantly aware of his presence. Somehow though, I never make that time to pray. I never pick up His word and see what He has to say to me today. It seems to me that Jesus was frustrated that his disciples continued to sleep and rest even though He had asked them to watch with Him. I can only imagine that He feels the same frustration with me right now. How am I supposed to raise a daughter who is passionately in love with Jesus if I can't demonstrate that same love? I can't. So, for whatever reason that I have been sleeping thus far, I need to take responsibility for my spiritual life. I thank God that He has put me with a group of other Christian ladies that I can fellowship with. That makes it easier for me, but I have to do it at home too. So if you'll excuse me, I am going to go pick up that dusty Bible!

Vows

2009-03-04T20:07:00.000-08:00

My husband and I have been having a bit of a rough time lately. I won't go into details, but I expect that every couple goes through something similar at some point in their marriage. So today, I decided to get out our wedding vows. Some time back I had them printed and framed, but they never managed to make it to the wall. So tonight, I pulled out my pink girly toolkit and hung those vows over the couch! I'd like to share those with you.

Patrick’s Vows

Julie, I am very thankful that God has called you to be my companion and friend. Julie, you know that my desire is to love and serve the Lord throughout my life, and I know that this is your goal as well. I am privileged to take you as my wife today.

I commit myself to help and assist in seeing you become the woman God wants you to be. I promise to lead you through this world with diligence as God gives me wisdom. Most, of all Julie, I promise to continue loving you without reservations as no other man on earth could love you. By God’s grace and power, I will be faithful to you for the rest of my life.

I will seek to protect you and provide for you as Christ does the church. I will care for you and cherish you, always willing to place your interests before my own. I pray that God will enable me to live out these promises, even as He already has, so that Jesus Christ might be glorified. I love you Julie! I pray that you will find comfort in my arms all the rest of our days.

Julie’s Vows

Patrick, I love you so much. I know that you are a gift from God and I am confident that He has led us to this day, as we become husband and wife. I promise by the grace of God to love you unconditionally. I have seen your love for God and I promise to support and trust your decisions and to submit to your leadership knowing you always seek God’s will.

I promise to be there for you, standing by your side in all kinds of sickness and health, whether we are rich or poor, in the good times and through whatever trials that might come our way. I promise to be worthy of your trust by being trustworthy. I will be faithful and true to you despite the uncertainties of the future.  Finally I will support you in our ministry together as we seek to know God more intimately and make His name known and loved in the world.

Patrick, I love you and I am looking forward to my life by your side.

Our Vows to God

God we come to you this day promising:

To put Christ above all others, even each other.
To be a lantern through which your love shines for all to see.
To seek your will in all our decision-making.
To make time for you every day both together and separately.
To constantly strive to bear the fruits of Your Spirit which are: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
To live our lives in service of You and make Your Name known in the world.
To keep our eyes focused on Christ and to never forget what You did for us on the cross.

Lord we love You and by Your grace and power, we trust that You will enable us to fulfill these vows.

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On reviewing these vows, on my part at least, I don't believe that I have kept them either to Patrick or to God. I haven't always submitted to Patrick's leadership and I don't feel that I've loved him unconditionally either. As for my vows to God. I certainly haven't made time for Him every day and I know that my eyes haven't remained focused on Him.

The reason I write this tonight is because I need to pull up the reigns on my life and evaluate where I am coming up short. I need to live up to these vows that I have made. I pray to God that He will enable me to do so.

Welcome to my blog!

2009-02-08T11:44:00.000-08:00

So this seems to be the thing to do lately! I will use this blog to log a history of our family and allow people to keep updated on the happenings of the Kimani family. I have to admit that I have another secret blog hidden away where I let all my frustrations out, but this isn't the place for that! I am looking forward to blogging away and many years later, coming back and reminiscing. I hope that if you are reading this that you will enjoy keeping up with what is going on with us.

Enjoy! ~Julie